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Healthy Relationships

This week we wanted to share how you may feel, or internal cues, when in a healthy relationship.

Below are a few examples friends shared about how they feel in healthy relationships. (These are all examples from couples in healthy marriages (married weeks to decades).

When my husband and I started dating I knew he truly liked me. He thought I was a morally good person. He never put me down. He was on my side. I wanted to be around him because he made me feel proud of myself. He obviously wanted his family and friends to meet me. I knew I could be my truest self. I didn’t weigh things in my head—like maybe I won’t say something because it’ll start a fight.

Also, I was proud to introduce him to my family and friends. I never had that uneasy feeling that they might not like each other or that I might have to defend or explain his comments. Confidence and calm were big.

Both of us prioritize or make time for friends, family and personal hobbies. We have the freedom to be ourselves.

We assume the best in and from each other.

This may seem like an odd word but easy. Previously we were both in unhealthy relationships. Compared to those, we both feel like what we have is easy and relaxed. That doesn’t at all mean that we don’t work at us but it doesn’t feel like WORK.

We treat each other with respect even when our opinions differ. We might call out a behavior but never the character.

Feeling encouraged and listened to.

My love language is service. When my spouse picks up some extra tasks with the house or the kids, I feel validated and never taken for granted.

I know my relationship is healthy because not only do I feel safe, validated, happy and appreciated but also because whenever we have a disagreement we are able to work through it with respect and find a resolution together.

We just love being around each other no matter what we are doing, whether it is cleaning house, working in the yard , or going on a date. And, although we love being together, we also take time to do things with our own friends. I also don't worry about what will happen if we disagree on something, because we are always willing to talk through things to work them out. He is very thoughtful and says thank you to me, even for everyday things that I do. He makes me feel loved and safe.

There is total trust in the financial department. There had to be given our deployments. We utilized an “allowance” to avoid money fights over “wants”. So, I feel safe in making purchases.

We HAVE to carve out porch time which is just distraction free time to speak from the heart. It’s when we get past logistics and family news and deal with issues. That’s when intimacy is restored.

Other ways you may feel in a healthy relationship include: